Funny Search Engine Terms

To throw something a little fun into the mix, I decided to blog about the funniest, unique or most interesting search engine keywords/phrases that brought people to my site and to include others. Here’s what we discovered.

From Jen Forbus at Jen’s Book Thoughts, a book blog that covers the world of crime fiction. All comments in parentheses are Jen’s personal commentary on the searches.

  • Jens Official Smart Good Image (who me?)
  • Do hockey goalies not get enough credit? (what do you want to give them credit for?)
  • Are Elvis Cole and Carol Starkey ever gonna hook up? (let me look into my crystal ball…)
  • Author Robert Crais at home
  • Bryan Gruley Chicago address
  • Is Jo Nesbø single (based on these three…someone thinks I know these authors far more intimately than I actually do!)
  • Betty Boop Booklet of 160 address labels (Uhhhmmm, no thanks)
  • Billy and Jenn ultra runners
  • Jen ultra runner (these two just terrify me…I don’t run unless something very scary is chasing me)
  • Booo saea jay video (sure! whatever you say. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?)
  • Can you hard to death (not that I’m aware of, but I’m no expert)
  • Dirty dot.com prune (I simply don’t have words)
  • Do I hem leather pants (far too many people want to hem leather pants…what’s with the leather pants people?)
  • I admire the way you don’t wast your times (this person obviously does not know me)
  • Jenn’s dirty secrets (I will never tell!)
  • Jo Nesbø versus Sandford (I do not host cage matches at my blog. Check somewhere else)
  • Poetry train on the wrong track (Is this kinda like the North train going South?)
  • Print a detective spy themed photo book (I’d buy it, but I’m not selling it)
  • Sell my ramboesque screenplay (No, sorry. One Rambo is enough in my world)
  • solution to three lottery tickets are drawn from 40 for first, second, and third prizes. find the number of sample points in s for awarding the three prizes if no contestant can win more than one prize (I’m NOT doing your homework for you, and HOW did this query bring you to my blog?)

From Don Lafferty. Don’s known for his expertise in social media. As a social media consultant he’s helped authors and major corporations with marketing, business development and public relations.

  • hard boiled eggs on electric stove
  • boiling eggs for dying
  • perfect boiled eggs lafferty
  • how to make the perfect hard boiled egg every time

Jane Friedman’s Writer’s Digest blog, There Are No Rules , covers a little bit of everything the writer needs to know, including the basics of writing, conferences and events, getting published, and industry news and trends. She also has a popular website and blog where she muses about life, love, music, movies, publishing, travel and more. Here’s some search terms that brought people to her site.

  • magazine, brussel sprout, butter (yes, this is 1 search term)
  • people who act too “happy”
  • legal consequences with wedding photos during divorce
  • bog myrtle leaves

The Philly Liar’s Club is a group of thirteen writers who “lie, party, and support independent booksellers, libraries and literature.” They are L.A. Banks, Jonathan Maberry, Keith DeCandido, Gregory Frost, Merry Jones, Solomon Jones, Don Lafferty, Marie Lamba, Jon McGoranEd Pettit, Kelly Simmons, Keith Strunk and Dennis Tafoya. They blog about the writing process and the publishing industry. Search terms from their site are:

  • Maria Lamba girl scout
  • the horror the horror
  • those who can must
  • Gregory Frost catholic

The Writer’s Forensics Blog run by author D.P. Lyle, MD is filled with a wealth of knowledge for the writer on everything related to forensics. DNA technology, autopsies, corpse identification, fingerprinting, forensic dentistry, drugs and poisons, and more. Here’s some interesting terms that brought people to D.P. Lyle’s site. Comments in parentheses are from D.P. Lyle.

  • Inbred Royalty
  • Dead Cosmonauts in Space
  • Where to Stab for a Kill (a writer I hope)
  • How to go from black dye to red if hair has some damage
  • Can the Andromeda Strain really happened
  • Woman covered in blob
  • sperm dumpsters (no idea what this is all about)

From Jennifer Lawrence’s blog, Jenn’s Bookshelves, a book review site that covers “most fiction, including literary fiction, mainstream, women’s fiction, suspense/thriller, horror and YA,” comes these searches.

  • How do I spell a girl screaming?
  • can you tell a killer by hndwritinh
  • imsuregladthatdidnthappen
  • handwriting analsis seril killers
  • can the behavior of a serial killer be controlled
  • canadian writer forkids invisible underwear reluctant readers
  • “fiction novel about a woman released from prison after killing a baby and her sister has a secret”

Janet Rudolph’s Mystery Fanfare, a blog that covers a little of everything in the mystery genre (books, events and news), had some interesting searches.

  • A bird named after Harry Houdini
  • Animals that create fanfares
  • Bones used in art
  • Cereal boxes back health tips
  • Creepy places Italy
  • the incident at the dog’s ball
  • unusual burials
  • “aaron elkins” “nice gorilla”
  • yesterday’s history and tomorrow’s a mystery
  • Bad boy triller
  • Don’t mess with pensioners
  • Murder up murder up
  • dinosaur bookstand
  • gefilte fish stickers
  • waving queen figure
  • solar powered waving queen Elizabeth
  • speaking canine and agatha christie
  • pottery barn in Europa
  • mysery fanfare

And finally, here’s some funny searches that brought people to this site.

  • prettiest authors Jen Forbus Alafair Burke
  • silence of the labs
  • I write in the bathroom
  • hi-point firearms pink grips
  • always watch your back
  • why are the good looking ones always evil
  • bigfoot staring into windows
  • Frankenstein monster boris alive

Have any interesting searches that brought people to your site to share? Which of the above is your favorite(s)? Leave a comment below and let us know.

2 Comments:

  1. Today, a search term used to locate my blog, http://www.ritathinks.com is ‘Scream.’ There is nothing scary about anything I write and the blog doesn’t contain that word, anywhere. But there it was, proving to me that all the research and money I have spent over the years on ‘key words’ was wasted. Scream? Really?

  2. Some of these terms made me laugh. Others jarred me into rethinking better search words for my blogs. Some of the stuff I write about can be pretty scary – other informative.

    I’ve gotten some good ideas from this.
    Thanks,
    Popple

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